Wise Use of Space?

                                                                   Uncle Billy Thinks

                                                      A narrow mind is a waste of space.

Spectator Sport

                                                                UNCLE BILLY THINKS
                                                              Ravings of a mad man...

A few years back I was putting a new rubber roof on  my home.  My 30 yr old neighbor, tenant and and friend was on the roof lending some help.  We began talking about my lack of a cell phone and computer.  At the time I was still resisting getting a computer.  I told him if I had one I'd probably spend all my time watching internet porn anyway.   He gave me a strange look and I said, "You'll find out!  When you reach a certain point in life sex becomes a spectator sport."   laughter

World travel

                                                             UNCLE BILLY THINKS

This morning while meeting with a client he was telling me of his travels.   "We have been to all the continents."       I told him the only continents I saw in my future were INCONTINENCE.

Cleanliness next to godliness?

                                                              UNCLE BILLY THINKS
                                                           

Last night a very close friend of mine who nearly died last year said when she thought it was over her last thought was, "At least I won't have to clean that basement!"  She said  a voice said it's not your time yet.

I told her if you saw my basement you would understand, why in the same circumstances I'd have said."TAKE ME NOW!!!   "TAKE ME NOW!!!!

Contented?

                                                                  UNCLE BILLY THINKS                                                                                                                           Musings of a mad man       

                                                                                                                                                                    There are people who simply accept their status in life.  They are satisfied with what they have.  The struggle to get more or "get ahead" has no appeal to them.  They lead a simple life unencumbered with the trappings of wealth.                                       We refer to them as bums.                                                                                                                                                                  

               

What would you do?

                                                              UNCLE BILLY THINKS

                                             If it were up to me...........I'd let someone else decide

Growing Impatience

I remember in my younger days thinking, why is that old person so impatient?  He's not going anywhere.  She doesn't have anything to do anyway.  These days I find myself being impatient and I understand those impatient old people more.

Now that I think I may only have 10 or 20 years until I have to change my own diaper or have to carry my bladder in a bag and have my life pass before my eyes every time I stub my toe, I understand.  I think," Is this how I want to spend my "pre diaper time" - waiting?"  NO!

I don't want to spend the little time I have to stand unassisted and upright, waiting on some fool swiping a debit card 4 or 5 times in the 3 items or less line. Or driving the entire length of the city 25mph in a 35mph zone because the moron in front of me is texting or doesn't have a licence or insurance, or all three.  I don't want to sit in front of this computer watching a little circle go round and round "waiting" for a different screen to come up.  We need physic computers that just know what we want!  I also have learned why "bitching" about stuff becomes old people's favorite pastime.

How to eliminate unpaid bills

                                                           UNCLE BILLY THINKS

                                                                                                                                                                                  
We all worry about dealing with those " stacks of unpaid bills."  Unlike the financial advisors who offer complicated plans and suggestions,  I have developed a very simple one that works for me.  I find the easiest way for me, is to pay the ones I have money to pay.....and throw the others away.

It has been my experience that they will always send you another for next month's stack.

Life

Life

In the beginning-forever                       at the end an instant.

No complaints here!

                                                          Uncle Billy Thinks   

Being dead cant be all that bad.......................    I've not heard any complaints from them.

Saving the cost of a Cell Phone

                                                                     Uncle Billy Thinks                                                                                  

I think people look down on you when you don't have a cell phone.  I don't want or have one, but I have figured out how to keep people's respect.    I walk down the street talking loudly to an unseen person with my hand to my ear.   I can tell by the looks I get that passers by are really impressed!!!
                                                                                                                                                 

Parental Dating Advice

                                                                     Uncle Billy Thinks

Parents need to talk to their children more!        A little good advice can go a long way.         For example,
I used to remind my son every time before he went out,  "The secret to a good date does not involve
Duct Tape!"

Never Spend Your Last Dollar on Beer!

                                                                   Uncle Billy Thinks

At the Pub, the bar I go to three nights a week and write in my journal; a large drought beer cost $1.00.

Last night I went to the bar to get a beer.  An old white alcoholic who is a "regular" ask me to spot him a beer.  Since he never asked before, I said, "Sure" and ordered him one too.  I looked on the bar and saw he had a dollar laying in front of him.  I asked , "What's wrong with your dollar?"   He answered, "It's my last one!"     I learned a valuable lesson, never spend your last dollar on a beer!

Skill or Luck

                                                                    Uncle Billy Thinks

This holds true with all games.   I told a friend who just lost a game of pool,  "It's half skill and half luck."
If you win it's skill and if you loose it's luck."

They is a Four Letter Word

                                                                         Uncle Billy Thinks

From time to time I am struck by how the word they is used.   On its face they simply refers to more than one person, but it has come to refer to a mysterious sinister group.  We all use it this way.  "They are going to take our guns away."  "They are going to raise our taxes."   Of course in this case we are referring to members of our elected government except, of course the ones we voted for.  Using they allows us to denigrate the group without identifying individuals.   It saves time and requires a minimum of information.

There is another much used they.  This they, in my way of thinking; definitely should have a "four letter word" status. It is used like a code word.  It implies that those present understand who is included in they, and that the group referred to is not present.  It is efficient in that it allows the speaker to reinforce what he or she believes without specifically naming the group.   Here are some examples of how "they" is used:

They wouldn't help themselves if they could.
Aren't you afraid they are going to take over?
They don't appreciate anything you do for them anyway.
They wouldn't work if they could get a job.
They just don't care.
They'd just piss it away.
They can't be trusted
They just don't take care of anything.
They just don't care.

While I have no intention of not using four letter words(it has taken me a lifetime to develop my skill with them)  I will in the future consider my new four letter word and consider it's intent before using it.  I hope you will too.

Inertia Becomes Personal

This morning as I put so much effort into getting out of bed,   I remembered the law of inertia.  My body was certainly "at rest" and wanted to "stay at rest."

The second part about "a body in motion staying in motion",  applies less and less as time goes by.

Carrying too much cash is dumb

I told my Bank Teller, "Things are so bad the next time you see me I might be wearing my ski mask.  But I'll play it safe.  Instead of carrying all those unmarked $20's out in a paper bag, I'll just have you put it in my account.  I don't feel comfortable carrying all that cash around."

People in Glass Houses

People who live in glass houses..........................................................should have lots of paper towel and glass cleaner.

Time flies when you're having fun?

 

That's what we were always told and it held true, but as my time passed I realized something which I often  shared with my son.   WHEN YOU REACH A CERTAIN POINT IN LIFE TIME FLIES EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT HAVING FUN!!!