Spectator Sport

                                                                UNCLE BILLY THINKS
                                                              Ravings of a mad man...

A few years back I was putting a new rubber roof on  my home.  My 30 yr old neighbor, tenant and and friend was on the roof lending some help.  We began talking about my lack of a cell phone and computer.  At the time I was still resisting getting a computer.  I told him if I had one I'd probably spend all my time watching internet porn anyway.   He gave me a strange look and I said, "You'll find out!  When you reach a certain point in life sex becomes a spectator sport."   laughter

People in Glass Houses

People who live in glass houses..........................................................should have lots of paper towel and glass cleaner.

Time flies when you're having fun?

 

That's what we were always told and it held true, but as my time passed I realized something which I often  shared with my son.   WHEN YOU REACH A CERTAIN POINT IN LIFE TIME FLIES EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT HAVING FUN!!!

Come back on Monday

                                                                         Uncle Billy Thinks

During an appointment with my doctor I was feeling down.  I said,"Doc, why don't you take me out back and shoot me."      He was at the top of his game that morning and said, "You'll have to come back.  We don't do that on Fridays.

It could be worse

                                                                        Uncle Billy Thinks
                                                                               

        I asked a man in my favorite bar how he was doing.   He said, "I'm still above ground."

Glad the world is Round

                                                                    Uncle Billy Thinks                                                                                         

I'm glad the world is round, because if you go the wrong way long enough it becomes the right way.

How Old are You?

Uncle Billy Sezs

When you reach a point in life it seems everyone wants to know how old you are.   In my case they are probably trying to see how much longer they might have to put up with me.   If you manage to remain civil, do what I do.  I say, "I'm not looking forward to fifty."   Quickly change the subject.   I almost look forward to the question now.  The questioner stands looking puzzled and I didn't have to lie.  What I said is true, I'm not looking "forward"  because I passed fifty some time ago.          

Unhappy with your accommodations, Speak Out!

Uncle Billy Thinks

In Los Vegas an unruly woman strapped down in a restraint chair and with a spit bag over her head shouted,
"I'LL NEVER BE ARRESTED IN LOS VEGAS AGAIN !!!!           LOS ANGELES IS MUCH BETTER!!!!!                Thanks to her, next time I get arrested I know where I want it to be.