UNCLE BILLY THINKS.......


THE SECOND AMENDMENT SHOULD BE RESTRICTED.............

Only people with arms that are in shape, firm or muscular should have the right to bare arms.............
All others should have to register their arms and wear long sleeves.

                 UNCLE BILLY THINKS                                

                                                        RAVINGS OF A MAD MAN   

After an early morning dream it occurred to me:

Some of life's greatest adventures occur in that place that exists between Asleep and awake,

Uncle Billy Thinks

"Happiness comes in a box"

Now that I have reached the age where death is more common among my contemporaries I try to review the Obits. So I can be sure to pay respects to acquaintances' families.

The Penn live online obits in Harrisburg, Pa place adds between the obits.  One ad that appears regularly declares...

                          "Happiness comes in a box!"

                                                       Uncle Billy Thinks
                                                     Ravings of a mad man


After having another birthday, I realized I have reached the age when celebrating surviving another year is appropriate.

Other old age thoughts I had include:

     If youth is fleeting old age is sonic
     Old age is a "state of mind."  You can't remember what "state" you're in.
     I wish I knew now what I knew then!
I think there were more.......but can't remember them.       

I wonder How it Happened

                                                       Uncle Billy Thinks
                                                      Ravings of a mad man

                                     

Every morning I check the Harrisburg obituaries to see if anyone I know died....................
         then I check the Crime Report to see how it happened.

Attendance Incentives

                                                  UNCLE BILLY THINKS                                                                                                                          Ravings of a mad man                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

                        Sadly last week we buried my older brother  after a 7 year battle with
                         Lymphoma.   He had a good life and touched many.  At least 1,500 to 2,000
                         came to visitation and the funeral.  I told people, " You couldn't get this kind of
                          turnout at my funeral if you offered free shovels and dancing shoes.
                   

Wise Use of Space?

                                                                   Uncle Billy Thinks

                                                      A narrow mind is a waste of space.

Spectator Sport

                                                                UNCLE BILLY THINKS
                                                              Ravings of a mad man...

A few years back I was putting a new rubber roof on  my home.  My 30 yr old neighbor, tenant and and friend was on the roof lending some help.  We began talking about my lack of a cell phone and computer.  At the time I was still resisting getting a computer.  I told him if I had one I'd probably spend all my time watching internet porn anyway.   He gave me a strange look and I said, "You'll find out!  When you reach a certain point in life sex becomes a spectator sport."   laughter

World travel

                                                             UNCLE BILLY THINKS

This morning while meeting with a client he was telling me of his travels.   "We have been to all the continents."       I told him the only continents I saw in my future were INCONTINENCE.

Cleanliness next to godliness?

                                                              UNCLE BILLY THINKS
                                                           

Last night a very close friend of mine who nearly died last year said when she thought it was over her last thought was, "At least I won't have to clean that basement!"  She said  a voice said it's not your time yet.

I told her if you saw my basement you would understand, why in the same circumstances I'd have said."TAKE ME NOW!!!   "TAKE ME NOW!!!!

Contented?

                                                                  UNCLE BILLY THINKS                                                                                                                           Musings of a mad man       

                                                                                                                                                                    There are people who simply accept their status in life.  They are satisfied with what they have.  The struggle to get more or "get ahead" has no appeal to them.  They lead a simple life unencumbered with the trappings of wealth.                                       We refer to them as bums.                                                                                                                                                                  

               

What would you do?

                                                              UNCLE BILLY THINKS

                                             If it were up to me...........I'd let someone else decide

Growing Impatience

I remember in my younger days thinking, why is that old person so impatient?  He's not going anywhere.  She doesn't have anything to do anyway.  These days I find myself being impatient and I understand those impatient old people more.

Now that I think I may only have 10 or 20 years until I have to change my own diaper or have to carry my bladder in a bag and have my life pass before my eyes every time I stub my toe, I understand.  I think," Is this how I want to spend my "pre diaper time" - waiting?"  NO!

I don't want to spend the little time I have to stand unassisted and upright, waiting on some fool swiping a debit card 4 or 5 times in the 3 items or less line. Or driving the entire length of the city 25mph in a 35mph zone because the moron in front of me is texting or doesn't have a licence or insurance, or all three.  I don't want to sit in front of this computer watching a little circle go round and round "waiting" for a different screen to come up.  We need physic computers that just know what we want!  I also have learned why "bitching" about stuff becomes old people's favorite pastime.

How to eliminate unpaid bills

                                                           UNCLE BILLY THINKS

                                                                                                                                                                                  
We all worry about dealing with those " stacks of unpaid bills."  Unlike the financial advisors who offer complicated plans and suggestions,  I have developed a very simple one that works for me.  I find the easiest way for me, is to pay the ones I have money to pay.....and throw the others away.

It has been my experience that they will always send you another for next month's stack.

Life

Life

In the beginning-forever                       at the end an instant.

No complaints here!

                                                          Uncle Billy Thinks   

Being dead cant be all that bad.......................    I've not heard any complaints from them.

Saving the cost of a Cell Phone

                                                                     Uncle Billy Thinks                                                                                  

I think people look down on you when you don't have a cell phone.  I don't want or have one, but I have figured out how to keep people's respect.    I walk down the street talking loudly to an unseen person with my hand to my ear.   I can tell by the looks I get that passers by are really impressed!!!
                                                                                                                                                 

Parental Dating Advice

                                                                     Uncle Billy Thinks

Parents need to talk to their children more!        A little good advice can go a long way.         For example,
I used to remind my son every time before he went out,  "The secret to a good date does not involve
Duct Tape!"

Never Spend Your Last Dollar on Beer!

                                                                   Uncle Billy Thinks

At the Pub, the bar I go to three nights a week and write in my journal; a large drought beer cost $1.00.

Last night I went to the bar to get a beer.  An old white alcoholic who is a "regular" ask me to spot him a beer.  Since he never asked before, I said, "Sure" and ordered him one too.  I looked on the bar and saw he had a dollar laying in front of him.  I asked , "What's wrong with your dollar?"   He answered, "It's my last one!"     I learned a valuable lesson, never spend your last dollar on a beer!

Skill or Luck

                                                                    Uncle Billy Thinks

This holds true with all games.   I told a friend who just lost a game of pool,  "It's half skill and half luck."
If you win it's skill and if you loose it's luck."